Author: Matrixity


Joy is in the breeze.
Gentle, wispy fingers touched by brine caress my cheeks as they pass by on their way to others who have journeyed through asphalt and sand to sit at the edge of the sea. 

Joy is in the wave.
Waves lap at my toes. Watery tendrils lap at the sand pulling and pushing golden kernels of soon to be sea glass with the regularity of the moon. Gentle tingling can turn into the crashing of white noise as the sea transforms from calm to wild. 

Joy is in the sun. 
When the earth winters and the sun is far, a few hot beams of light are sun-sent, like beckons in the icy dark. These rays of illumination light up a face chilled by frigid air. 

Joy is in the berry. 
Red, Shiraz, Merlot or Rose.
Cava, Brut or the finest champagnes! The intoxicating blend of sweet, dark berries and bubbles fill my glass with an instant celebration. 

Joy is in the sweetness.
Cocoa beans and hazelnuts are the guilty sin of the soul. Rich, brown chocolate warms the tongue as it melts to a liquid finish. Bumps of hazelnuts burst in nutty goodness against sharp and happy molars. 

Joy is in the music.
The cacophonous din of data swamp the mind with daily cobwebs. The blue notes of jazz and white chords of Bach cleanse the soul. Music soothes the bewildered me.

Joy is in the touch.
Firm fingers trace circles on flesh tight with tension. Oiled hands knead bread on shoulders knotted with hot cross buns. Knuckles meander down spines tightly coiled with springs. Relax. Release. Breathe. Skin and muscle yield to gentle hands. 

Napowrimo Day 7 : joy poem. Finally time to post it! 


“Life is a moment. So make it burn always with the hardest flame.”~ Oscar Wilde- ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray.’

Chaotic Cohesiveness #napowrimo

Chaotic Cohesiveness ~Matrixity 

The clock ticked.

The clock tocked. 

Time traversed as the sun

Tangoed on it’s daily dance

Across the heavens. 

I ran after the disjointed 

Fragments of my life,

Trying to gather them

Into some sort of 

Chaotic cohesiveness.

The glue held in some places 

And failed in others.

Dreams and expectations 

Spilled in a tumbling stream

To sunken places. 

I dove in.


I’m trying to find me.

I’m still swimming. 


Life throws curves at us all the time. Never give up! #life #chaos #poem

If Only #napowrimo 6

If Only


If only I was conceived in love and not in the hot, backseat of a car in adultish excitement and desperation to leave home. 
If only god had chosen a mother who wanted me and put me in the womb of that woman. 
If only my painful crowning at birth had somehow made me adorable and wanted and cute. And loved.
If only the thoughts of mother had not been, “what is that thing? What is that alien child? Did that come out of me?”
If only I knew a mothers’ love, her gentle touch, her caring looks. Remembrances and wonderfully special gifts on special days and holidays.
If only I had a mother who actually knew ME and not just the definition of me. Daughter. What does that mean? 
If only I could somehow be a favorite and not the outcast child. Just once. Just for five minutes. Could she possibly hug me? Tragically, it will. never. be. 
If only I could catch your eye just once before you die. Maybe. Just maybe I could be your little girl. If only I could catch your eye, maybe you could love me. 
If only…

Cinnamon Tree Villanelle #napowrimo 5

Cinnamon tree, graceful and free We meet just once in a while. 
Where shall we meet again, in thunder, lightning or rain? 
The spice in your smile is magic to me.

Who wooed in haste, and means to wed at leisure?
I wear my heart upon my sleeve for daws to peck at. 
Cinnamon tree, graceful and free 
We meet just once in a while. 

The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief.
This is the short and the long of it. 
The spice in your smile is magic to me.

Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand? 
How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes.
Cinnamon tree, graceful and free 
We meet just once in a while. 

Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow.
Who could refrain, 
That had a heart to love, and in that heart 
Courage to make love known?
Cinnamon tree, graceful and free 
We meet just once in a while. 
The spice in your smile is magic to me.

When the sky cries…. #napowrimo

When the sky cries,
Emotional floodgates release a torrent 
Of bitter, sour tears.
Cheyenne pepper tears flow
Red from violent words. 
Celery seeds leak from
Pale green, envious eyes.
Turmeric yellow tears run down
Cheeks hollow from 
Soul depleting pain. 
Star anise burst violently 
Forth from eyes swollen 
From a broken heart. 
Black licorice color 
The irises of the soulless.
Black-eyed people walk 
among us baiting life to bare 
It’s bitter flavors.
Pungent spices of life
Reside within us all. 
Coriander and garlic,
Paprika and onions.
All flow together in 
Fragrant streams
Under the torrent of the
Crying skies.